Stage 1, It's No Big Deal, Right?

WRONG!

I remember the exact moment when the nurse navigator told me, “It’s only stage one so it’s not a big deal.” In some ways she was right but in others she was very wrong. What followed was a conversation of what the next few weeks of my life would look like. Numerous doctor appointments, scans, biopsies and more. I also had to make life altering decisions in a short amount of time.

The “no big deal” part was because stage one cancer is very treatable and has a very high success rate of the patient becoming NED (no evidence of disease). As breast cancer patients, we are never told we are in remission but rather NED. That’s just in case the cancer’s ugly head rears itself back as another type of breast cancer or shows up in one of our other organs, most common areas are the bones, liver, lung or brain.

The BIG DEAL part comes when we are told our options. I was given the choice to do a mastectomy (removal of my breast) or a lumpectomy (removal of the tumor with clear margins surrounding the area) followed by 12 weeks of radiation. I chose the mastectomy because I wanted to avoid doing radiation for many reasons and I wanted to make the choice with the best outcome. I was hoping to do the mastectomy and reconstruction and then go back to my life as usual. It did not work out that way but for many people it does.

So when your medical team says, stage one is no big deal, I know that is not true. I spent many nights lying awake trying to make sense of it all. I was constantly thinking about why this was happening? How did I get cancer? I cried many tears leading up to my mastectomy day. I didn’t want to have such a major surgery and I didn’t want to lose my breasts. I didn’t want to be put to sleep or spend the night in the hospital. The doctors and nurses do these types of surgeries regularly so they often don’t understand how we are feeling. Recovery is really tough the first few weeks, the drains are extremely uncomfortable, the nerve pain was extremely painful at times and now I had a different body that I had to get used to. It’s okay to cry and mourn your loss. It’s okay to feel overwhelmed by it all but remember you are not alone.

Sending you lots of love,

XO

Long Term Side Effects: The Good and The Bad

How could I be approaching 6 years since I finished chemo?! It seems like such a long time ago but at the same time it seems like yesterday.

It was October of 2017 and I had completed my 12 weeks of Taxol. Finally, I was done putting that “poison” into my body. I remember being so afraid and wanting to avoid chemo at all costs. I repeatedly asked, “Why me?!” I cried knowing I had spent most of my life trying to be a health advocate. I always had an interest in diet and exercise. As a teen, I used to read health articles and magazines just for fun and loved finding out about the newest “super” food or latest exercise trend. So you can imagine just the thought of chemo scared me and I wasn’t sure how I would ever recover from it.

Recover I did! Yes, it was a slow process. Not much different than before, I took one day at a time. I was physically and emotionally exhausted. My body needed to rest. I still kept moving the best I could. Today, I am still dealing with toe nails barely hanging on and need to return to the doctor to deal with this once again. However, I only see my oncologist once a year and my energy is almost where it used to be. I have a much better outlook on life than I used to. I’m truly grateful for everyday and find joy in the little things. The most fun fact is that I can wear all those cute tops that require no bra now and my hair is back to normal!

The thoughts of the cancer returning is always in the back of my mind. It makes it much more difficult because I am in contact with so many cancer survivors around the world and it is devastating each time someone becomes metastatic and stage 4. We truly need to focus on more research specifically for stage 4 cancer so that there can be more options and treatments available to that population. You would be heartbroken if you knew how many young women have lost their lives when the cancer returned. If you ever consider donating, please make sure they focus on research.

Wishing you all my best always!!

Me working the red carpet in Laguna Beach, CA this past August 2023. Notice the hair and no bra 😉😜